Why am I doing this again

OK! I've been increasingly negative on this here blog and I need to back up a bit. I got some explainin to do.

TL;DR: I'm seeking re-election, because I want more time to see a few more things through. Pretty sure I won't last another four, so if elected this is one last go for me. If you like what you see, please donate or volunteer on my campaign. Every dollar and minute helps me cross the finish line.

Synopsis:

• Four years ago I decided, a little on a whim, that I would run.
• Three years ago I had a Sansa-Stark-esque moment of "oh, this is how it is" and realised most of what I wanted to do was not possible within the time frame that I wanted to do it in.
• Two years ago I hated myself for the cynicism that was overtaking me.
• One year ago I was a hard-no for re-election. I was counting down the days for my term to be done.

So why am I here now?

More specifically: If I hate it so much, why am I doing it again?

1. In three out of four years of my first term, I moved four times. Housing instability added to my mental instability. Now with therapy and medication (thank fugg for free health care), plus I've moved into a place of my own, I'm in a much better spot to not hate things as much. Whee.
2. In two out of four years of my first term, COVID-19 happened and all of a sudden we were all treading water in place. Yes, we got the silver lining of using federal covid funding for outdoor classrooms, but now that we have them we have to spend money to maintain them. And the music review is moving forward at a snail's pace - it's fine, I know big orgs are complicated, it's just that when I think about my kids probably never seeing the benefit of this it is a bit deflating, but that's just the way it is, etc.
3. I think we have a long ways to go for my 2018 goal: navigating difficult conversations respectfully and with integrity. I believe there are structural things to do with this. I really think Roberts Rules and the formality of public, live-streamed meetings are terrible for difficult conversations - too many things to weaponise to shut people down, too many ways to posture instead of speaking to the underlying needs and values, too threatening and inherently discomforting to be vulnerable, too easy to say cool-sounding stuff on camera but never actually do the work.
4. I still believe in public education and I still believe the Greens - us weirdos who show up and do our goddang best - are the best fit for me and for this city.
5. I need more time. I just need more time.
6. I think I can do it.

You see, I never changed my mind on the why. I just feel more ready.